Respectability

July 19th, 2019

Pretending that everyone in the ‘kin community is perfectly normal and that their non-humanity is only something on the side that doesn’t affect them is one, a lie, and two, really toxic to those in the community who don’t fit the bill of a “normal person”, whatever that may mean. It’s stifling, and it’s a shame that it’s cringy to howl in the forest at night, to wear gear, and to acknowledge cravings or urges that aren’t remotely within the realm of human normal. It’s extremely unfair that we should feel the need to sugarcoat the less normal parts of 'kinity, both within the community and to curious or ridiculing outsiders. Yet, I know I’m blatantly, embarrassingly guilty of this. At any rate, talking respectability politics has reminded me that it’s alright for me to enjoy my non-humanity. It’s so freeing and even empowering to feel okay doing things that make me feel less human.

Ah, but a word of caution. Don’t confuse the push for the freedom to do these things if they make you happy and comfortable with needing to do these things to fit in with the otherkin community. Maybe this point is obvious to everyone else, but if I were to go back ten years ago and go through my intro to the community again, I for one would really balk at the idea of joining the otherkin community or exploring my identity if I thought everyone had to wear gear, mod their bodies to look more like their 'types, or be public with their identities to be accepted as a member of the community.

To be completely honest, I probably jumped at emphasizing this because I’m extremely conservative about even hinting at my identity to anyone. I’m happy to walk the human walk and talk the human talk at work/school/with friends and crouch on the floor and snarf down half a rotisserie chicken while I’m home alone. But, everyone’s unique and has different levels of comfort with and ways to express their identities. If you’re not comfortable or able to compartmentalize your identity, don’t! Express your non-humanity how you see fit! You can still live in human society and follow your dreams while being public with your identity. Yet, if keeping your identity completely private is the only thing you’re comfortable with, don’t feel like you need to show it to others, whether they’re 'kin or not.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to experience your 'kinity. Be silly with it, be serious with it, express it, don’t…do whatever makes you comfortable, whether you’re new to the community or an elder greymuzzle or old fruit. That being said, don’t feel like you can tell others how to express their identity either, especially if they’re not hurting anyone. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to find a home in the otherkin community. Be yourself, whether that’s appearing human or not.